Hello again. Here is my May wrap-up. I have read a bunch this month, and will include pics of the books I enjoyed. I’m not sure if I mentioned it here or not, but I haven’t ordered anything from a certain online retailer since the 10th of February. It’s embarrassing to admit how impossible I once thought that would be. Sewing-wise, I altered a hand-me-down men’s shirt to fit me, and added a cute collar I received as a gift. The collar was meant to be used as an add on accessory, but shifted whenever I tried wearing it. Attaching it to this shirt solves this problem for me. Not the first weekend, but I also made a vest to match my Chinese New Year tablecloth pants this month. The back came out busted looking, so I have a plan to make it look nicer. If I finish it before the month is over, I’ll include a pic. Lastly, I made a mock up for a jacket. To be fancy, I made it reversible. It’s not 100% done, but I love it so far.
Altered shirt
We also put up the pergola. When I say we, please know it was mainly Seth and Zach with Emma and I providing moral support, reading the directions, and holding up posts while they attached pieces to them. We used a kit I bought through Wayfair. The brand was Veikous and we got the 14 x 12ft one. Seth and I pre assembled as much as we could which helped. It took about 4 hours for them to put it up, and I’m thrilled with how it looks.
Pergola
Last month only had three weekends, while this month has five. It’s crazy how much we’ve been able to get done. On the second weekend of this month, I spent most of Saturday gardening. I asked for gift cards to Lowe’s for my birthday, and bought two planters, and a ton of plants. This summer, it will be five years since we moved here. The backyard has always been a work in progress.
Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies I made
Soil conditions plus lots of shade, made it hard to grow grass and other things that claimed to be shade loving. Then, we lost two evergreen trees after an aggressive (not planted by us) ivy took them over. The year before last, Emma and I added a fire pit area with a walking path to it, and extended another path. This helped take up some of the area where nothing would grow, and was also pretty.
My work in progress jacket
At this point, plant-wise my backyard is in maintenance mode while I wait for stuff to grow. I learned a saying about roses that might apply to other plants as well. It’s, the first year they sleep, the second year they creep, and the third year they leap. I’m ready for all of my plants to leap. Of the eight milk jug planters I did over the winter, only three of them seem happy. I plan to try again next year, but maybe using a different method. At some point, maybe in July or August, we plan to drain and shift the hot tub six or so inches to the right so that it’s better centered in the space. Once it’s moved, all hot tub related goals for the year will be 100% done!
My watercolor from my workbook for this month
Now, before I write about what we worked on this weekend, you’ll need a backstory. While I love my house, there are things within it that irk me. Since we moved in, the part that has annoyed me the most, was our stairs. They were painted white by the previous owner. The treads and risers, both white. They were bright and inviting, but impossible to keep clean. Also, even with vacuuming daily, there was always at least a strand or two of hair from one of our four fur babies on them. Then, we learned under the white paint was dark grey paint. I tried touching up the paint when it got scratched, but couldn’t keep up with it.
Before pic of the stairs
Out of nowhere, a guy who did work on our last house, reached out to Seth to see if we needed any work done. Seth checked with me and, oh boy I did not hesitate to say the stairs. The glee I experienced in imagining my annoyance with these stairs would soon be coming to an end. All I needed was a quote. I’m pretty sure I would have agreed to almost any estimate, even in this economy. This guy ghosted us. He friggin fell off the face of the earth. I hope nothing bad happened to him, but I got all excited about not having white stairs anymore, and I was going to do something about it.
In progress stair pic
After doing some research, it seemed like a heat gun would be the safest way to strip the paint without making a giant mess. Even though video after video I watched showed home renovators using their heat guns inside (with proper protection), it didn’t end up working in our house because our smoke detectors are super sensitive. We even tried taking out the batteries and they still went off because they are actually hard wired to our electrical panel. Good news is, we will are in great shape early fire detection-wise, bad news is, no using a heat gun to remove multiple layers of paint.
A book I read this month
I’ve previously mentioned our four pets. They are the reason chemical stripping also isn’t on option. That left us with sanding. While messy, and it was incredibly messy, I’m kicking myself for not doing this sooner. Was the process fun? No. Did I break one sander and have to run to Lowe’s to buy another one six steps in? Yes. Are we 100% done? No. The side and back edges are so not done, plus the front bits of the bottom three or four steps, and the bits around the railing.
Another book I read this month
We did the bulk of the sanding yesterday, and I’m in no rush to finish it. I need to reenergize a bit first before I even think about it. Our eventual plan is to stain the treads to match the oak floors on the first floor, and then touch up the white paint on the risers. I want to leave the columns (is that what they’re called?) of the railing white, and sand and stain the top hand rails. It’ll be a fun game of sorts to guess the month it’ll all be done? Any takers? What to you think? This year, or next?
Another book I read
I think I’ve mentioned I have hyper fixation meals. I’m including a pic of the prep work for my overnight oats. Now, there are loads of recipes for these online, with tons of variations. This is just how I make mine, and the brands (pictured). I take 1/3 cup oats, 1 tablespoon, chia seeds, 1/4 cup ish of Greek yogurt, a cup ish of milk, and a heaping handful of frozen sliced strawberries. I measure with my heart so the above is all approximates. I have this for breakfast almost everyday. I microwave it for 1 minute, add chocolate syrup (I like the 5 ingredient Hersey’s simple syrup), and stir.
My overnight oat and Mochi
Gosh, it’s becoming very clear to me that there is no theme for these blog posts. Thing is, I’m cool with that. This blog, like me, is both scattered and focused. I’m including images of the books I read (and very much enjoyed) this month. One book I read was I want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee. Whilst reading, I learned of her passing. Knowing she was gone, changed the way I read this book. Now, her family has not disclosed the reason for her death, given the subject matter she wrote about, there is speculation.
Another book I read
I have never personally struggled with long term depression, short term, maybe. I can be socially anxious, I’ve struggled with stuttering when publicly speaking, or over sharing when I feel an awkward silence or a conversation ending. I pick apart things I’ve said after the fact and have had big time imposter syndrome over the years. Maybe my ability to navigate these is some formula of internal optimism, and having wonderful family and friends.
Another book I read
I saw a video where a guy was talking about wanting to call mom, but not his mom. No, that relationship was not nurturing, it was toxic and draining. In the comments people talked about the idea of wanting to go home as a concept, but for their situations a place like that not existing. I can call my mom, I call her all the time. We went to Scotland together last year. If I need her, she’ll come running and vice versa. Even though it isn’t the house I grew up in, wherever she is, is still home or a safe harbor. My first book was dedicated to her. I wasn’t planning on writing about my mom, but especially since it’s May and we celebrate Mother’s Day this month, it seems fitting.
I’m doing something different, we’ll see if it sticks. With the blog posts I’ve done this year, each one has acted as a monthly wrap up of sorts, being written on the last weekend of each month. Thing is, other than wanting to write a monthly blog post, there are no rules. It’s April, this can be the start of my April blog post, even if it is the 10th, and not the 26th.
Plus, I’ve already done a bunch this month and have stuff to write about even though it’s only a third of the way over. I, start to finish, sewed a pair of pants already (pictured above). These are the 4th pair of pants I’ve made using the Lane Pants pattern. The jury is out, but I might tweak the legs to be a smidge less wide. Otherwise, I love them. The fabric was a clearance Chinese New Year themed tablecloth I got for $7. They are red with golden fire horses. They are glorious and I’ve taken to calling them my fancy pants.
I’m still working on my Hanni cardigan. I got confused and started with the side of the button band where you have to make the buttonholes first, instead of the easier/minus the holes side. I’ve never done a double knit style band before. It took me a few tries to get going, but I’m over halfway and love the way it looks. It’d be cool if I finished it this month, but I’m in no hurry.
Of the eight milk jug greenhouses I made, I’ve transplanted five into pots. Two of them seem to not only have survived my clumsy first go at transplanting, but are thriving somehow. Two others are still alive but by no means happy about it, and the last one is on life support. The last one pains me in particular because the seeds were for coneflowers and they’re supposed to be a native plant where I am. I had two sets of seeds for them and I don’t think one set will even make it out of the jug. This is possibly my third attempt at this plant over the years and I’m not a fan.
My backyard is still coming along. I have snowball bushes (pictured below) that survived another winter and maybe even grew an inch. I have camellias as well. They lived, but haven’t grown at all. In the fall, I transplanted a very unhappy rhododendron and a happy, though overgrowing its pot, hydrangea. Both made it through the winter as well and seem to like their new homes. I’ve tried plant food/fertilizer, but whatever I plant, if it lives, tends to stay the size it was when I bought it, or smaller. My thumb, while far from green, isn’t black either. Is there a color to represent just keeping things alive?
Earlier in the year, I wrote about wanting to move our hot tub into our garage. A simple internet search made it clear to scrap that idea and leave it outside. Still, it’s sitting in a pretty focal spot of our yard and is not fitting in with the cottage garden I will someday have. Inspiration, by way of a killer sale, led me to get a pergola kit online. There are now three large boxes full of cedar wood in my garage. Not this weekend, but maybe next, we will attempt to put this thing together. When completed, it will be 10 by 12 feet and sit over our hot tub. Until then, my garage has never smelt better. If we are successful in building this, I’ll add a picture.
It’s now the 22nd of April, and I can include more updates to the above and some new stuff. For one, today is my wedding anniversary. Nineteen years ago today, Seth and I tied the knot. I think a true reflection on our marriage, with all of the ups and downs we’ve gone through over the years is, if I had it to do all over again, I’d still still say yes. To celebrate, I’m taking Emma to the dentist and working on this post.
Today, or more accurately, last night, we received confirmation that the Yes vote on redistricting for Virginia won! Hopefully, it means we are one step closer as a nation to balancing the current power dynamics in Washington, D.C. It’s nice to have a bit of good news with everything else going on.
Otherwise, here are some updates to the above. I’m not sure how I feel about my milk jug seeds. While my investment of $2 to $3 dollars a seed packet was minimal, I wonder if another container method would work better. Plus, I think some critter dug up one of my pots. As of today, I think only 4 or 5 of the original 8 might actually survive. If I use milk jugs again next year, I might try to fit smaller seed trays in them and then plant. I’m still thinking about it.
I’m happy to announce I finished my Hanni Cardigan. I love it and plan to wear the heck out of it, as long as Emma doesn’t steal it. She has made hints of her intention to do so. Sadly, in my excitement to finish it, I overdid it and have had to wear an elbow brace ever since. A knitting related injury is a clear sign of my current life priorities.
Seth and I have pre-assembled almost half of the slats that make up the top of the pergola. The other half need to be assembled as we’re building it. It likely won’t be up before the month is over because we’re waiting on our public utilities to mark any lines. This way we won’t accidentally hit anything when we install it. Speaking of the backyard, I learned about a Virginia Department of Forestry program to buy shrubs and trees for $3 each. You have to buy them in groups of 5. So, I am now the soon-to-be proud owner of 5 elderberry shrubs. They’re being shipped so I won’t know how big they are until I get them.
On Friday, Seth and I are going to see a musical at Emma’s school. She’s part of the tech crew and is convinced we’ll love it. Earlier this month we saw a comic as a family. Being together ended up being more fun than the jokes. I’ve been reading more and will include the covers of the ones I’ve read this month (pictured below). This month I also enjoyed a C-Drama I streamed call The Pursuit of Jade. It was great. Since then I’ve been watching some new anime including, Witch Hat Atelier, Always a Catch, and Ascendance of a Bookworm. I’ve also completed another page of my watercolor workbook.
I’m not sure if I’ll add anything else to this post before the end of the month. Though somewhat in random order, I’ve also included some fun pictures from the month. April, for our family, is busy with birthdays. The kittens turned one on the 4th. This is also my birthday month, along with my mom and mother-in-law. I’m turning forty-seven this month, and if anything, just grateful for the years I’ve had and the life I’ve lived.
Today is the 28th. I’m taking advantage of a quiet Saturday to write this month’s blog post. I’m settled in my comfy chair, in my comfy office, with a hot matcha latte, and a snoozing dog at my feet, ready to write this post. Almost daily, I look around and am in awe of the life I get to live. I’m turning 47 this year. My youngest just turned 16. Life wasn’t always this way, and I wasn’t always as content as I am now.
Watercolor
I have struggled to get to where I am today. Money was a huge stress, but it wasn’t the only one. Part of me wishes I could go back in time to reassure my younger self that things would get better. Then, even as I write that, I have to acknowledge while things are better personally for me, it’s not true for everyone.
It’s impossible for me to enjoy this moment without recognizing the realities of this current moment in time. Here I am, enjoying a latte while my country says we negotiate with bombs when discussing the current war with Iran. This plus also recognizing how unaffordable things are for our kids. One bedroom apartments cost as much as my mortgage on a four bedroom home. Then there’s the absolute disaster of our healthcare system. I understand I’m not alone with my worries for the future. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and insignificant during times like this. I’m an empathic person and I struggle to understand how a giant segment of our population doesn’t care about their neighbors either in this country or on the planet.
Embroidery
Now, I’m going to share some things that help me. I try to celebrate the good things I see each day. I’m also voting not only in every election I’m able to, but with my dollars as well. When it feels like so much is out of our control, we get to make a decision each time we go to buy something. It took me longer than it should’ve, but it’s been months since I ordered anything directly from companies not aligned with my beliefs. On top of this, I’m trying to shop second hand more, while also trying to shop less in general.
There are also events you can attend, like the No Kings protest today. Or, if like me, the very idea of being in a crowd of strangers makes you want to hide in a blanket fort, donate. There are loads of organizations that could use funding. I personally support the ACLU. There are easy ways to donate right on their website.
Being creative, whether knitting, sewing, painting, or gardening, has been a huge comfort. Getting out of my house to spend time with family, or even play Mah Jong is anther way to unwind. None of these are new ideas, and neither is this one, but trying to add whimsy to my days also helps.
The 20th was the first day of spring. Where I live, our temperatures can vary wildly this time of year. Two days ago, we had the door to our screen porch open all day. The cats loved it. Today, when I went out with our dog Kiba, I needed my winter coat.
It is perfect inside weather. Now, I’m in my office, sitting in my Poäng chair, my feet up and resting on an ottoman. I’m using a cushioned lap desk as my desk. On the tv, I have a fireplace dvd playing, so it’s quiet save the sound of the recorded crackle of the fire. My candle warmer is on and the candle currently being warmed by it is called Red Fruits in the Forest.
Milk Jug Greenhouses
There’s a bird feeder on a tall shepherd’s hook outside my window. The squirrels keep knocking it down, so I had to fashion a brace of sorts to it this morning with a hair tie. It seems to be working. Another thing I did this morning was finish (more or less) sewing my first dress. As is my habit, I winged it and quite pleased with it. My dear friend from Australia, would say I was chuffed with it. Either way, it’s not even lunch time today and I’ve already changed the sheets, got laundry going, sewed my dress, ordered bulbs to plant in the fall, fixed the bird feeder, watched an episode of a Chinese drama called Pursuit of Jade, and had breakfast.
As a creature of habit, I crave routines. I have a morning routine, an afternoon routine, and you guessed it, an evening routine. I have a weekly routine for household chores. I also have had the same breakfast and somewhat the same lunch for months. Change, while inevitable, is not something I enjoy. Still, change doesn’t scare me the way it used to. My theory is all of my routines make it easier to absorb change and be flexible if I need to be.
My sewn dress
As a part of my evening routine, I knit. I’ve talked about knitting before, so some of this might be repetitive, but here we go. Knitting has done so much for my mental health while also allowing me to be creative, one stitch at a time. I read or heard somewhere that the act of knitting has similar benefits as meditation. It’s something to do with the repetition. Knitting, sewing, embroidery, crochet, and many other textile based skills are also known as fiber arts. There are masters of these arts and exhibits of their creations in museums all over the world.
For me, knitting allows me to multi-task. I struggle to concentrate and having something for my hands to be doing helps. This way, I can knit and watch a show, or listen to an audiobook, or sit with a group of people and have a conversation without losing focus. It also scratches an itch for me since I love learning. It’s also a buildable skill. To start, you learn to cast on, the term for starting your first row. Next, you learn the knit stitch, and then the purl stitch. With these three skills, you can make something like a scarf. Though, you’ll need to also learn how to cast off to finish the piece and get it off your needles.
Double pointed knitting needles
From these basic steps, you can then learn how to make increases, or decreases. You can learn how to make cables or work with more than one color. In the picture above, I’m using a new to me, knitting skill by using double pointed knitting needles for the sleeve of my cardigan. Each skill mastered, will open the opportunity of learning another. If knitting doesn’t interest you, there are so many other things you can pick to learn. You could learn a language, memorizing a new word everyday, or every week if a slower pace makes sense for you.
Even though the days are going to be getter warmer and longer, I still intend to knit most evenings. I hope anyone who might be reading this post is also able to find comfort in an aspect of their day. It may be something as simple as lingering over a fresh cup of tea to enjoy the aroma as it steeps, or cliche as it is, stopping to smell the roses, or whatever early spring bloom you happen upon.
The 28th is tomorrow, so I don’t feel too bad starting my monthly wrap-up a day early. As a reminder, my goals for this year are to blog (pats self on back for starting second blog post), sew, knit, paint, move our hot tub (this one ended up being a non starter so I will exclude it (if I remember to) from future recaps), move more, and drink more water.
I’m thrilled to write, I’m still (minus the hot tub) actively working at everything else on my list. Another thing I didn’t list, but I’m happy to admit is, I’m reading more. From time to time I do go through reading slumps. A slump, as hinted at in the term, is never a fun thing. Will I experience another? Maybe. Am I worrying about an uncertain reading focused future? Nope.
Going down the list, I put blogging at the top of it because when I’m not actively writing anything, I tend to be overly self critical with a side of imposter syndrome. I’ll ask myself, did I actually write all those books? Was everything I achieved as a fiction author all in my head? Did people even like my writing, or were they only being nice to me for some unfathomable reason? Having read some of my negative reviews, this thought luckily doesn’t linger like the other ones do.
Actively writing on a semi-consistent basis, is comforting to me. To be honest, this blog is more for me than anything else. In brushing up my understanding of the mechanics to posting an actual blog, I looked up how to use WordPress, the system my website is built with. There are things called plugins, and there are ones that somehow make your site more findable online. For now, no thank you. If you find this blog and stay to read it, consider it the result of some predestined circumstance of your own making. I had little part in it.
The second item on my list was sewing. I have successfully made a second pair of pants, and a blouse. I used the same fabric on the blouse as I did my first pair of pants, and dyed both what was supposed to be a wine color. The result was less merlot and more fuchsia. Since I don’t gravitate toward pink clothing in general, color me surprised (see what I did there?) I like both much more than I imagined I would. In my head, I had envisioned wearing them together as a cute matching set. Unfortunately, they look like pajamas when worn together either dyed or undyed. Either way, I hope to make more things this year.
blouse and pants I made/dyed this month
As for knitting, my rediscovery of this skill has been possibly my greatest recent comfort. I may have mentioned this last month, but if I did, it’s worth repeating. Knitting has been shown to mimic the effects of meditation. With the emotional roll coaster the world outside of my home is, knitting has been a refuge. I knit most evenings, but for shorter periods. For now, I’ve learnt my lesson on overdoing it. I haven’t needed to wear my elbow brace this month. My work in progress is still the Hanni cardigan. I’m currently on the body.
My painting update isn’t exciting. I’ve completed the next page of the watercolor workbook I received for Christmas. It turned out lovely. The one painting a month speed suits me just fine. It allows me to practice, without dreading the action. This way, I’m looking forward to seeing what I’ll get to work on next month.
Now, to the hot tub. Our thought (a flawed one) was to move the hot tub from our backyard to our garage. We don’t park our cars in there. Plus, it would shorten the walk to the tub and make it a warmer one during the winter months. The issue (we luckily learned before moving anything) is you need all of this venting because of the steam. Without it you run the risk of mold and structural damage. No thank you.
Still, have you ever heard the expression, “I won’t tell anyone I’ve won the lottery, but there will be signs?” My sign would be an indoor bathtub I could soak in with ALL my bits covered. The tub we have is annoyingly shallow. Having a hot tub is lovely, but by the time I would use it, I’m usually in bed. I need to be better about either using it on the weekend, or right after work. A pause for you to listen to the world’s smallest violin I’m currently playing for myself. Did you hear it?
My moving more mission is working. As I get older, the idea of potential future mobility issues makes me nervous. Last year, my mom turned 80 and we went to Scotland to celebrate her birthday. She kicked my butt up and down all of the hills and steps of Edinburgh. My focus on moving more became a thing after we got home. In my defense, I’m perimenopausal so I was sweating my rear off while we were there.
Either way, I now try to walk at least 10k steps a day, I do lymphatic jumping in the morning plus squats. Then, in the evening I do legs up the wall, cat/cows, push ups, tree pose, more squats, and front/back heel raises. I hope to slowly add more movements to what I’m doing so far. Lastly, on my goal list was drink more water. Not much to write about, but where I was drinking tea almost all day, I’m now drinking hot water as every other drink. Thrilling, I know.
Goal recap done, here’s what else I’ve been up to this month. I live on the east coast and was able to go out and see the Walk for Peace monks. Emma, Seth and I got to see them walk and were also able to listen to their message of peace. Writing this (it’s the 28th now) on the day we’re actively bombing Iran is disheartening. For myself, and everyone I know, none of us agree with this. The first bomb was called a preemptive strike. Pre-emptive? What the heck even is that excuse. Oh, we think you might hit us so we’re just going to hit you first. Call it what it is, an attack.
There was one morning this month I woke up so angry. Yes, a hot flash could have been a contributing factor, but it was more than that. It was frustration over the idea of people in charge only making decisions to protect themselves, or their buddies, or line their pockets, or their buddies. Where is the actual accountability?
I’m seriously trying to hold onto to the monks message of peace, even when there are times I struggle to. I’m doing what I can in little ways to vote with my dollar. If I’m shopping, I’m trying to do it second hand. Also, before any non-grocery related purchase, I’m pausing to consider if something I already have will work, or if I need it at all. As someone who enjoys shopping, this pause feels foreign. Still, for Valentine’s Day, Seth and I tried out a new (to us) Korean restaurant. We both had bibimbap. It was one of the best meals I’ve ever had (mouth watering just remembering it).
Like many around the country, I watched the winter games, or tried to. I gave up with streaming and ended up watching whatever I was able to on basic cable. When I was growing up, the summer and winter games were my favorite sporting competitions. I’m not sure if it’s everything else on the news, but I didn’t enjoy them as much as I normally do. Before I loved everything, every single event. This time it was mainly only the figure skating, freestyle skiing, and women’s hockey.
Like many, I recently learned I was a Chinese baddie. I was all over this because, as I wrote on my blog last month, I already play Mah Jong. I also have loved Chinese dramas for years. One of my comfort dramas is called A Love so Beautiful. It’s on Netflix if you want to check it out. Anywho, being newly Chinese right before the Chinese New Year on the 17th was fun. 2026 is the year of the Fire Horse. Since I’m a Goat, this is good for me. To celebrate, we had dumplings and noodles and I gave the kids red envelopes. They were on the fence about being Chinese until they got them.
Once the games and Chinese New Year were over, I spent my time stalking a little money named Punch at a zoo in Japan. I had heard he’s made friends but I’m trying to avoid him at this point for my emotional wellbeing. The tears I cried. Though, to be fair, I’m a crier. I also planted more seeds in a milk jug green house.
Here is what I read this month, The Little Book of Hygge, All the Beauty in the World, One Heart Justice, Strange Weather in Toyoko, and the Days at the Morisaki Bookshop. I am currently reading, We’ll Prescribe You a Cat.
Final thoughts to wrap this up, I’m turning 47 in April and I still wonder on the regular what I want to be when I grow up. I have a job, a career some would say, but who am I outside of it? There are 168 hours in a week and on average, I spend about 45 of them at my day job. There are still 123 hours I’m existing. What about sleep? Fine, I get about 7 hours a night. Even if you exclude those hours I have 74 hours to do something with, but what?
Here’s what I know for now; I want to be a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and human. More to come on the rest.
The thing is, marketing/promoting myself makes me itch. I don’t enjoy it and don’t plan to do that in this space. My hope is to make this an online journal of sorts. A place where I can share what I’m working on and what I hope to work on in the future. Also, since I’m not actively writing any fiction at the moment, this allows me to still get some practice in, and have an answer to the dreaded question, “are you still writing?” With this space, I’ll easily be able to say, “yes, I’m blogging now.”
So, what have I been up to?
Let’s start with a life update. I’m still married, with three kids. Though, two of the three are now adults, so the use of kids might not be wholly accurate. Either way, whether they can vote and legally drink or not, they’ll always be kids to me. Our beloved Yorkie Dozer passed away. Otherwise, we still have our Shepherd mix Kiba, and our black cat Jinx, plus the addition of two sibling Tuxedo kittens, named Miso and Mochi.
There are studies out there, documenting the impact of creativity on anxiety and stress. I remember reading one in particular that stated the act of knitting had results similar to meditation. After the election in 2024, and the swearing in of a new president in January of 2025, I sought comfort in art. I focused on trying new to me creative arts. Well, newish to me arts. One, being watercolor painting. This art form carried over from the end of 2024, but in my late teens, I did study painting. Considering the fact that I’ll be turning forty-seven this year, I was slightly out of practice.
Still, for the first quarter in particular of last year, I made an effort to paint each day. Now, am I proud of everything I painted? Yes. Did I uncover some vital piece of myself through painting? No. Do I still enjoy painting? Yes. At some point in time, I’d like to become better at drawing, and more so, being able to either draw something from my own imagination, or from the world in front of me. I could somewhat follow along tutorials and my drawings turn out, not awful, but it’s still mimicking someone else.
I forced myself to complete a painting (in a small workbook) daily. I got burnt out fast.
For now, I plan to paint monthly versus daily, and for this year, paint my way through the workbook, Brushstrokes in Bloom. This book was a Christmas gift from my dear friend, Nasha. There are twelve paintings to complete and I hope to finish one each month.
Another art form I re-explored this year was knitting. I learned how to knit ages ago. I wanted to recreate wool sweaters into a fabric I could tolerate, since I cannot handle wearing even the slightest percentage of wool. Problem is, while I mastered the knit stitch, and the purl stitch, I could not figure out how to read a pattern. It was the increases and decreases around necklines in particular.
I could knit, but everything I made looked extremely handmade and not in the good way. One of my goals for 2025 was to actually learn how to read a pattern. Funny thing is, it was time more than anything else that helped me achieve this goal. When I struggled to understand a knitting pattern, the patterns were full of confusing abbreviations so the text could fit all on one page in a book or magazine. The patterns nowadays are PDF downloads and many pages long. My issue resolved itself with the long form way knitting patterns are written today.
It also helped that I selected patterns made by designers many agree are beginner friendly. When it became clear to me I could finally knit all of the sweaters and cardigans my previous self could only dream of, I was knitting like crazy. While I still knit today, I had to slow down because the daily hours of knitting were hurting my fingers, wrists, forearms, and elbows. Like with painting, I have slowed down.
Now, to writing. In 2025, I was writing, but nothing with the intention of publishing. My last book was published in 2018. It was the fourth book in my Fix Series. After that, I did write a middle grade book that I sent to my agent. My agent wanted it to be longer before he tried to sell it. Then the pandemic happened and I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to re-write it longer. During that time period, I wasn’t reading much either.
My mind was on other things. Remote learning for our youngest was an adjustment, and there were other family concerns taking center stage. We also sold our home, and bought another. The move was mentally exhausting, but I don’t regret it. This is now our fifth year in our new house, and it was a great decision for our family.
In late 2022, or early 2023, I discovered fanfiction. Now, being an avid reader, I had been aware of its existence for many years, but never read any prior to the retitling and mass market publication of former fics. Fifty Shades of Grey is a famous example of a book that was originally fanfiction. What changed for me was the discovery of AO3, Archive of Our Own website. While new to me, it was by no means new. Still, the ease at which to navigate the site and download a fic to read made my path to reading fanfictions very smooth.
My gateway fic was Measure of a Man by Inadaze22. This fic is an enemies to lovers, reimagining of the characters from Harry Potter, ignoring the epilogue. In it, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy meet again as adults many years after the battle at Hogwarts. It was slow burn and I loved it. Then, I dove headfirst into reading tons of Harry Potter fanfiction, then Star Wars fan fiction, then Jane Austin fanfiction.
Interesting tidbit about fanfiction, the reason the majority of these books aren’t sold is the source material is still under copyright. Now, there are loads of Jane Austen variations for sale at every bookseller, because it is considered open source material. The Other Bennet Sister, is being made into a miniseries by the BBC. I consider it fanfiction. So, if you have negative opinions about fanfiction, please consider it more kindly in the future.
By now, I’ve given multiple examples of how I fixate on something and then proceed to overdo it on said thing. Well, this is no different. From reading, reading, and reading a ridiculous amount of fanfiction, I did the only rationale thing I could think of. I started writing fanfiction. I wrote two. One was over 92,000 words, and the other over 108,000 words. While I don’t have a list of the exact word counts of my published novels, none are as long as either of those fics. During that time, I was also off and on (more off than on), writing a fantasy novel. I haven’t completely abandoned it, but I’m not sure if I’ll get back to it or not. This blog is my writing practice until I decide to write something else.
Now, back to reading. In 2025, I read so much I got burnt out. I read very little the last four months of the year. I’m reading again, both print and audio. I read Welcome to the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop and listened to Tiny Beautiful Things. Both were lovely. I’m currently reading One Heart Justice and listening to The Little Book of Hygge.
Another thing I did in 2025, was join a MahJong group in my neighborhood. When I was a little girl, one of my aunts taught me how to play and gifted me a set. Over the years, I had forgotten how to play, so this was a fun reintroduction. I discovered the version she taught me was the Chinese one, and the version I play now is the American. Either way, I think of her each time I play. If you’ve ever considered learning, there’s a great app called MahJong 4 Friends. It lets you pick which version you’d like to play and offers suggestions to help you along.
To summarize so far, in 2025, I overdid it painting, knitting, reading, and writing.
Whew, well done me.
Now, for fun, in 2026, I’m learning some new skills. On Christmas Day, I was given an antique sewing machine from a neighbor of my sister. Like knitting, sewing has a language of its own and I’m enjoying learning it. So far, I’ve made two pairs of pants, one wearable and one not, and a skirt. I want to make fun clothes this year. Another skill I’m learning, is embroidery. This skill might come in handy with the whole make fun clothes agenda.
In addition to these, I’m trying my hand at winter plant sowing. To do this, you plant seeds in an empty milk jug, and the jug acts like a greenhouse during the winter months. There is an order to which things need to be planted based on your last frost date. I’m focusing on flowers and so far have planted coneflowers. They are native to my area, so in theory, they should thrive. More to come on how successful I am with my seeds. In the past, I would claim a black thumb, and while not green, I believe I’m solidly somewhere in-between now.
With everything else, I’ve also decided to start a personal hand written journal in cursive. I don’t plan to write daily, but weekly or every other week.
Lastly, in 2025 I was so heartbroken over the political shift in the U.S., that I believe I aggressively tried to settle my nerves with focusing on my creative passions. I tried to paint, knit, read, and write my way to mental peace. While it possibly worked in the short term, it is not a long term solution. November 2025 was a bright spot in the year politically with the election victory of my state’s first female governor, there is more to do.
Currently, I’m taking action with my dollars. I am boycotting businesses I morally disagree with and supporting those I do. I’m also donating funds to organizations defending our constitution and the rights of citizens and immigrants. I was raised on the idea this nation is great because we are a melting pot. I plan to continue to remain hopeful for the future of our country, while counting down the days to the midterms.
Those are my goals, but I could be forgetting something.
This was a very rambling post. A warning, that is unlikely to change in the future. My hope is to update these monthly. We’ll see.
In them, I hope to tell you how my sewing, knitting, embroidery, painting, gardening, mahjonging, reading, writing and being a pro democracy fan is going. I want to take my lessons from 2025 and not overdo any of these.
